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My Roommate's Apartment Is a War Zone But He Still Pulls
Posted by OP_Messy · 2d ago · ▲ 934
I need to talk about my roommate because this man defies all logic.
This is the CLEAN version. I repeat: this is CLEAN.
His apartment looks like a bomb went off. Clothes on every surface. Dishes from three days ago. Empty energy drink cans used as decorative accents. A single dead plant he "keeps meaning to water" even though it's been brown since September.
He does not care. He has absolutely zero shame about it. When people come over he doesn't apologize. He doesn't do the "sorry about the mess" thing. He just... lives. Like the mess is part of his identity and he's at peace with it.
And this man PULLS. I cannot explain it. I keep my place spotless. I have plants (alive ones). I have matching throw pillows. I have a CANDLE. I'm getting nothing. He has takeout containers as end tables and he's booked three weekends in a row.
I asked him once what his secret is. He said "confidence is just not caring about the stuff that doesn't matter." I said "bro your kitchen counter is a biohazard." He said "exactly. Doesn't matter."
I'm starting to think he might be right? Not about the dishes — someone should intervene about the dishes. But about the confidence thing. He genuinely does not waste mental energy on things that stress most of us out, and people are drawn to that energy.
Or maybe he's just attractive and I'm overthinking it. Both could be true.
Comments
clean_freak_carl
the neat one
2d ago
▲ 456
I feel personally attacked by this post. I also have matching throw pillows. I also have a candle (Mahogany Teakwood from Bath & Body Works, if anyone's wondering). I am also getting nothing. The system is broken.
OP_Messy
2d ago
▲ 389
Mahogany Teakwood is elite though. You'll find your person. Someone who appreciates a well-maintained living space.
clean_freak_carl
2d ago
▲ 312
Thanks man. At least my apartment smells good while I'm alone in it.
that_roommate_energy
regular
1d ago
▲ 234
Your roommate has what psychologists call "secure attachment style." He's not performing for anyone. He's just existing. That's actually really attractive to people who are used to everyone trying too hard.
OP_Messy
1d ago
▲ 198
Great so my roommate is psychologically evolved and I'm out here buying throw pillows like a fool.
health_inspector
concerned
1d ago
▲ 178
I need to know more about the takeout containers as end tables. Are we talking styrofoam? Cardboard? Is there structural integrity? I have questions.
OP_Messy
1d ago
▲ 234
It's a stack of pizza boxes with a book on top. He calls it his "nightstand." The book is unread.
honest_queen
lurker
22h ago
▲ 345
Woman here. Your roommate is right and I hate admitting it. Confidence > decor. My last boyfriend had a mattress on the floor with no frame and I stayed for 8 months. My current boyfriend has a headboard and matching sheets and I'm still not as attracted. The game is rigged.
clean_freak_carl
21h ago
▲ 289
Headboard and matching sheets guy is IN SHAMBLES reading this.
minimalist_mike
regular
18h ago
▲ 123
Plot twist: your roommate IS the aesthetic. The mess is authentic. Curated cleanliness is a costume. People can tell the difference subconsciously.